deedeeBOO.

WE'LL CARRY ON: Saturday, February 28, 2009

this crush ain't going away..

FREAK. i've got loadz to do right now. my head is totally bursting like hell

argh. -chem, 2test. wd mindmap??? argh. idk wth la cn? and lecture notes to print and stf.
-phys, test. i need to study and get tis right.
- maths, complete my hmwk! freak stuck here and ther
- get my gp lit phys chem mt files and notebk. fuck!
- IM DEAD ALR CN? MY HEAD'S BURSTING. stil not used to the new stf here. i need to stablilise myslf and my family members arnt helping at all cn?

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
11:59:00 PM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Thursday, February 26, 2009

Obviously, you're out of my league... i know i am never going to be good enough for you.. : (

Hmm.. sch's great so far. eventhough i have okok amount of homework, not having enough prac during the holidays makes me forget almost everything that i have learnt,XD hahaha! okayy. homework to be done, chemistry, a few questions i have left out. maths... im still doing it. haha. kay22.. i've to stop blogging already.

gosh, cnt get my eyes of you dearest. =X

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
7:12:00 AM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Okayy. my day today have been very suckish... first, cause either i'm paranoid or it's(the issue) true.. my guess iis the second one cause thrice is too much a coincidence okayy? moving on.. today i made chin siang angry.i tink its about a joke. but i tink my tone was serious and sarcastic. so yeaa.. wrong inference yaw. i'm sorry tho for the misunderstanding. Hope tomorrow things would be okayy. gosh, i ended the day with a bang by finding out that the person i thought was the person was actually another person and that another person i found out to be the person is such a total turn off! lol haha! you know what? i have a feeling it's fading cause i see no more of the qualities being displayed. it's not about the awful truth but about the sincerity that was once displayed is no more. i'm left with the feeling of numbness and cold. not a plesant feeling i would look foward to every moment. haha. if only the qualities i loooonged for comes back. mayb the feeling will follow suit. only a maybe.hmm.. yeaa..(has nothing to do with the above. just random stuff we girls were chatting about haha.) ladies are people who thinks deep and thoroughly. with every other people's feeling, and every single mayb consequences situations are taken into account. only then they would make their final decision. which by den can not be changed or influenced by others because by denl, they have the whole lost of reasons to support their decision. : ) jerk/jackass/men are simple minded asses who don't really think much of the situtation they are in much less the consequences and other people's feelings that might get involved. ok. that is just my point of view. any objections? : ) write on your own blog den.

Right now, DIAN BTE AZIZ, that one(u noe hu) better! haha! XD. i know you know public don't know.! haha.. && JANN,ULFA AND TASHA! thanks for being my listening ear all this while! really2 appreciate it! haha. : ) i'll cheer up! stop shedding ANY more tears! XD! && start smiling. but u noe wd? i realised that, that, that! i have no idea what i wanted to say a sec ago! omg! shuuccckssss! ouh ya.. DADDDY! YOU NEED FORK OUT ALOT2 OF MONEYYYY! HEH!

okayyyyy! LIT ROCKS! MATHS ROCKS! CHEM ROCKS! phys rocks! MI ROCKS? haha. BAND ROCKS!

&& HAPPPIIEEE BDDDAAEEE RRRRIIIINNNNAAA RAIIHAAANNNAAA! : ) yey! kau da tua! xD sorry hunn for the late wish. i was sooo caught up with school work tadi.

OKAYY. TALKING BOUT SCH WRK!

-get files,A4 notebks for chem, phy, lit, gp, maths.

-OMG! TMR'S MT PPR! I 4GOT. hu cares? its oni diagnostic test. heh

-chem online stuff to be done, check gmail for chem updates.

-chem blog to be updated.(MUST WATCH TUTORIALS AND THE GAMES)

-&& homewooorrrkk!!

-**FORGET NON IMPORTAND, NON URGENT STUFF!

arrgghhh! am toooooo ashamed.

argghh! i just wish i could hide from everything

cover my face so no one would recognise me and vice versa

gosh! this reminds me of somthing and someone! haha.. grrr! GERAM NYER

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
6:09:00 AM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Sunday, February 22, 2009

i wish i could shout my lungs out like this kid

i just wish i can control my emotions. keep it to myself without jumping to my fone or comp and start bugging the people..

haziq hafizuddin, im sorry for bugging you just now like alot alot sia. haha. and to that person who worte bout those stuff on your blog. im sorry i misunderstood what you meant. aha.. see.. im just super irritated with myself cause when im feeling angry, annoyed and anxious about stuff. i'll tend to super jump to blardy conclusions den grab whatevers near me to bugg the person who did wdever to me that make me feel this wayy. argh. its me. ive gotta learn how o control my emotions which leads to drastic actions. arggh. seriously. im blardy, idk wd to say to myself already. now im pissed and very embarrassed already. i don't know what to do tomorrow. hmm. should i just be oblivious to whatever that had happened or should i just walk with my head up high. not wanting or caring whats going on around me. or should i just look away and act emo. much less talk? i'll ponder and decide. tmr.

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
5:23:00 AM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Saturday, February 21, 2009

shedding.

till no more.

crushed my heart.

till i cnt face you anymore

i wish i could cry out like this baby without having the world to care.

my feelings are crushed. i know all this is impossible. i just know it. even if it does not come from you mouth. a girls intuition is always right.there is always simple logical reason why i feel so happy high and hyper whenever i am around my friends.i just want all this feelings to go away. like jann said, you are my drug. i'm addicted. i don't need anything else but to feel your presence. just that smile will make me feel over the moon. a little wave would always make my heart beat faster than ever. hey, you know, i've never felt this way. that's why i need it to stop. cause it's impossible.c'mon. i know where i stand in this society. right at the bottom.i've got no good qualities what more the beauty or cuteness factor people look for. haish..

i'm so sorry you had to handle the humiliation of always being teased cause i have a crush on you.

the crush has turned to like. i thought i would fade. sadly, it ain't going away. why?i tried to avoid looking at you. your eyes.your smile. but sadly, just hearing your footsteps makes my heart beat double the speed. hunny. i need you to go. i need you to get my feet back on the ground. i just want to be sane. gosh, i wish i can stop this weird feeling. but at the same time, i never want to stop looking foward to school just to see that crooked smile etched onto you face. just to feel that rush through my veins upon seeing you.just to hear your voice in my ear. i never want to lose you as a friend.i just fear now that i will start loving you. i'll pray tha it doesn't happen soon. cause when it starts to, i know i'm going to have a hard time falling out of it. i just wish for a moment i was a different person so that you would notice me in a different kind of way, whereby MY presence is felt by YOU. i just wish for a moment, i am not what i am now. right now, i just wish i can stop being very foolish.

i need this feeling to fade. i don't want to. but i know i need to.

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
8:59:00 AM

okayy. yest the last day of orientation.. hahah.. we had to assemble according to our class.. haha.. GEEE! we same cls! JANN! we same class! yeahh!! XD hahaah.. ziq and mad stood bside me.. lol. nxt cls onii yaww! hahah!lol hahah. kay2.. den went to band. mad told me this reallllly not true stff. seriously make my heart broke! lol. found out its fake. happie again! hahahah!! okayy! &&gosh IMISSYOU
ouh2 and yaa... bashed nisstar w cake. lol.. went to maths lecture smelling out choc cake cn? hahaha.. lol.
todayy.. went out with ziQ.. to get some stuffs.. lol. gave him the thing i bought for him..lol didn't know could get a cheaper one..lol.. but wdeva! haha.. l8r cheaper skali cheapskate like to0ots.. haha.. went around2... den went off. : ) didnt do much and yaa.. u didnt take piic w me today to0o0ots! hahah XD.. lol..

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
8:17:00 AM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Tuesday, February 17, 2009

IM SUPER SORRY. I HOPE THIS DOES NOT AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP THAT IM JUST ABOUT TO BUILT WITH YOU. GOSH. I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF AND IM SUPER EMBARRASSED. I REALLY AM VERY SORRY.HOPE NO MISUNDERSTANDING IS CREATED. GOSH. IM A QUEEN OF FOOLS! ARRGGHH...

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
5:55:00 AM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Sunday, February 15, 2009

me in MI U and tassya in SIGLAP T

tasha and me! otw back home from MI

new found friend from millennia institute! :)

BDAE BOII ON THE 14TH FEB! XD

piics found today! XD! sorrry ahmad!

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
2:35:00 AM

Thanks alot dad! thanks. what do i get? LEFTOVERS from either you,mum's or sis! thanks. why can't i even get my own bag?! have i ever asked anything expensive? i've been getting sis fone and used fone.. i've never ever complained you see.. the fone that i got now, i had to wait for a long long time.. and it was the cheapest that i could choose. i didn't complain den. cause i know i had to use alot for school.. bags, sch supplies and misc. now,i can't even get my own bag? i have to use my sisters?!! you got her that bag. a NEW one when she statrted ite. its been only a mnth past and you are buying her new one?? why is it that she gets everything that she wants so easily when i have to wait for a lng time for mine? i don't eat in school and all cause i want to save the money for other use such as topping up my ezlink cause i'm schooling at such a far distance yaw.i try not to eat just to save you from giving me more money for my transport money. but you never understand pa. gosh. am i even part of the family? thanks for making me feel this way. i am not angry that you are not buying me a new bag.. im really really disappointed that you are treating me like a 2nd class family member here.like i dont belong. thank you is all i have to say.

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
12:08:00 AM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Saturday, February 14, 2009

heyy! hahah. alright.. sch's been very very tiring lately. and i'm sleeeping earlier by the day! lol.. today, is saturday.. the day where by i will only open my eyes when i feel like it.. to make up for waking up super early every other day.... sadly, my dad just had to wake me up early for my appointment with doctor baisal for my blardy right shoulder which got twisted.. gahh.. AGAIN.. for god knows how many time already.. now, i am not allowed to do PE and physical activities till 4th june... this time, i'll follow.. haha. i tink what caused me to keep dislocating it is that i didn't heed the doc's wrds to not do any physical activities when i was just discharged yrs ago... LOL! XD den.. headed to hospital to seeeee nenek. XD... so0o cute! haha.. sadly she is sick.. hope she gets well sooonn XD... den. went off to meet haziQ.. a millennia friend.. XD.. went to simei mrt inter to meet him... saw shira while waiting... den headed to WS.. CONGRATZ TO TASHA FOR BEING A CERTIFIED MUSIC TEACHER! XD hah... TEACH ME TEACHER! XD! den headed to tamp burned down mac! shared a drink at mccafe..... den i saw khai and zul.. twiinss! lol.. den headed home to take laptop and den went to courts to chnge laptop.. den den homed! XD.. hahaha.. in other words.. i didnt do much today...! XD!

OUH22!! HAPPIE BELATED BDAY SERRRRIII YUSREEEEN YUSSSRRRII && SHEIK AHMAD AKMAL BIN OMAR! XD!

apperntly i cnt find where i put seri's piic.. i found ahmad's and todays outing.(half piic.. the other 3 piics idk wher.XD!)

ok. ICNTFINDANYPIICNOW! blardy to0o0ts.. will upload em tmr yaw.. sorry ahmad! sorry seri! sorry haziQ!

spread the love people! XD

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
7:48:00 AM

WE'LL CARRY ON: Friday, February 13, 2009

IM VERY TIRED!

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
4:55:00 AM