haiz....cnt slp yet.. cz my sis nt bac..then sumore nt sleepy..ahahax.. well... hmmm... i've just been reading sum of my uh.. classmates blog n looking at their frenster... thinking bac... tis is wat i've been feeling...i feel that im nt part of the class... well... last yr.. they started their miarinis... it was cool.. cz seeing four of them together alwaes makes them look like real sisters... then atfer that more ppl started group themselves.. well... i felt that i was being pushed aside... but i juz kept feeling that i was the one hu over reacted...haiz.. but wat happen the next yr prove me that i was totaly rong....it was reali happening... i noe then i was REALLY being pushed aside.... cuz.. then they kinda hav anader grp... but multi racial n sex.....well... at least it proves that ppl in spore are living in hormony... every trip.. or ani activities that was held.. i noe i wud b the odd one out... but i tried to jz blend in... but it was reali hard.... i kept asking my self.. wat hav i done to deserve nt to hav real frens.... those hu r there wen i reali nid them.... wen i need sum1 to turn to...wen i nid a shoulder to cry on... i use to hav them.. in pri skul... but nw.. all of us r seperated.... they found new frens... i tried to find mine... but i cudnt... i hav nw.. my frens hu r older.. but most of them live so far awae.... sometimes... i feel so alone... haiz....im like totaly isolated frm the rest... pls...uh....atleast then, i HAD my band frens.. my section... but nw... the bond is nt there... they were my 2nd family... but i dono wats happen nw... dun feel like going skul....
last tym... wen i feel like this... i wud hav a "godbrother" to turn to.... he was like my own brother.. i treasured hym... but.. since my sis get to noe hym.. n made frens.. it totally change.. nw.. he nvr tok to me... i dun even dare to tok to hym nimore cuz he wud b veri sarcastic as if he does nt noe me... i reali miss those tymes.. where he wud kol me at nite n he wud tell me hw his dae was... he was like my own bro... but. everting change!haisz..... i reali dont noe wat happen...

but atleast i nw hav two other... especially.. kak ika n abg.... im reali gona miss u abg wen u r gone later... it wud nvr b the same w/o u....

but.. they nid to hav their own tyme together... y shud i bother?uh!! shit man... y does all tis bother me so much??!! y do tears hav to roll down my cheeks jz bcuz of tis matter!! argh!!!



jz let it b....
i hav to accept it...









im alone here.................

thoughyou'reDEADandGONEdefeated
9:33:00 AM